Death of a Wasp - A Poem

The story behind this poem is that a week or so ago I informed my boss's daughter that I'd seen a mouse at work. She freaked out because she's afraid of mice. I opened the next morning to see she'd written a poem called "Dear Tiny Monster" about the mouse. It was so great.

On Monday I was stung by a bee (actually, my boyfriend was all - "It wasn't a bee, it was a wasp." Anyways, me and another girl wrote this poem on Facebook:

Dear Tinier Monster, 

I thought I killed thee, but you must have been stunned. 

I turned my back and got myself stung. 

Guess I should have brought a gun. 

Should've known you wouldn't run.

I took a deep breath, and finished my work. 

After being stung by a bee wasp that was kinda a jerk. 

 I put on some ice and it felt kinda nice. 

 Hard to say if bees wasps are worse than mice :)

TV Addicts or Haters? Poll Results

Yes, I can't wait for my shows to come back! 5 (41%) 

Meh...I might watch some stuff. 0 (0%)

I still have to catch up on last season! 1 (8%)

No, I don't watch TV. 5 (41%) 

I wish - I don't have a TV. 1 (8%)

Other 0 (0%)

It's a tie! You either love TV or can't be bothered. I love TV, but I won't watch stuff that I'm not 100% into.

Shows I'm happy have returned (or will be returning soon):

How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, Boardwalk Empire, Bored to Death, House and Hung.

For those of you who were excited, what are you watching? Any new shows worth checking out? I watched 2 Broke Girls and it was okay. I'll give it a chance I think.

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #116

This is my "Everybody Hurts" Playlist - dedicated to R.E.M.

1. Everybody Hurts - It's true.

2. Until the Day is Done - Well, your day is done as a band, but I expect we'll be seeing more for you individually.

3. Make it All Okay - Your music makes it all okay.

4. All the Best - In your future projects.

5. Finest Worksong - Good work boys!

6. You Are the Everything - You are why I love live music.

7. You - Have been my favourite band for as long as I can remember.

8. Departure - I'm sure you'll each arrive somewhere great.

9. Low - News of your breakup made me feel a bit low.

10. Disappear - The music lives on, so you'll never disappear.

Out of Time

For those of you who know me, or have at least been reading/following this blog for a while know that I have a certain affection for the band R.E.M. A love that's lasted since childhood - listening to Out of Time and dancing around to "Shiny Happy People." You'd also already know that R.E.M. was my first real concert - in 1999 for the Up tour. I had/have a strange crush on Michael Stipe and the sound of his voice soothes my soul.

When Mike Mills, guitarist for the band, announced that they would not be touring their latest release, Collapse Into Now, I was disappointed to say the least. For years my friend and I kept promising to see them live again, but there was never the time or the money, or this or that.

Yesterday, through their official website, the band announced that they are disbanding. I was sad, but not surprised. I sensed that the spark was gone.

I don't really want to wax poetic on the subject for too long. I just want to say:

Thank you for the music.

Nachos, A Signed CD & Chugging Wine...Oh My!

I had a busy weekend (as I mentioned before) so I thought I'd do a quick little rundown of what I did.

1. Nacho Cheese!

I met up with my very tired boyfriend on Friday night with a few other friends. He was so tired he didn't even feel like playing darts! I know, right? He was starving so ordered a bunch of food for the table: nachos, hummus, and poutine. I know, we're so worldly.

We walked home and didn't see a single skunk!

Photo by Me

2. My Baby Don't Dance

On Saturday my best friend since Grade One picked me up from work so we could drive to meet up with our other childhood friend that I've known since kindergarden at The Sound Academy in Toronto for the Mother Mother concert. While it was a bit weird at first, we all settled in and had a great night. The two opening bands were also really good. The first was called Whale Tooth. The female lead was awesome - she had a killer voice and tonnes of energy. She was dancing and jumping all over the stage. The second opener was called Sweet Thing, same energy only a male lead. He had a tambourine with a trail of ribbons tied to it and he started out the set wearing a tailcoat. Very eccentric. 

Mother Mother hit the stage with a slowed down version of "Hayloft," but played a high energy, super fun show the rest of the night. I wish I could have seen the stage a bit better though.

When we were driving our friend and her boyfriend home she surprised me by telling us they'd won a meet and greet with the band before the show and gave me a signed CD! I'm a bit jealous that she got to meet them, but the CD was a totally sweet gesture.

3. Team Foxtrot

I am going to blame how this went on the fact that I didn't get to sleep till 3 am the night before. My teammate (who never runs) totally left me in the dust at the Terry Fox Run 5k on Sunday. I know it's not a race, but I'm competitive like that. I felt sluggish and my throat hurt from screaming at a concert the night before. Oh well - I finished in around 26 minutes. The point is a lot of money was raised for cancer research.

4. Drink Up, We've Got to Go!

The boyfriend and I met up later on Sunday, after I napped and after he watched Manchester United beat Chelsea. We went to a restaurant to see a guy I know play. The gig was supposed to start at 5 but didn't start till after 6. This sucked because the boy had somewhere to be after 7, so we had to leave at 6:30. We had time to eat dinner and have some drinks. It was getting close to the time to leave and I still had half a glass of wine left. I clinked his glass and said "bottoms up" and finished it. Classy, right?

I'm hoping for a fun, but less busy weekend coming up! Just have to get through the rest of this week!

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #115

Yesterday morning I left for work at 6 am - it was still dark out. The moon was bright and the stars were shining. It was sorta weird, but kind of cool. This week's theme is stars and night skies.

1. Stars and Sons by Broken Social Scene - This song is named for a recording studio, not actually about stars.

2. Starman by David Bowie - If we met the starman would he blow our minds?

3. Binary Star by Danny Michel - A duet with Sarah Harmer who appears lower in this list with a star themed song of her own.

4. The Stars by Jukebox the Ghost - This band was in a dream of mine last week. Weird, right?

5. Lodestar by Sarah Harmer - One of my favourite songs by Sarah. It starts off slow and calm and then switches near the end to a faster tempo.

6. Wasted Daylight by Stars - Picked this one for two reasons: Wasted Daylight makes me think about sleeping through the day and only being awake at night. And well, the band's name.

7. What if I Can't See the Stars, Mildred? by Matthew Good - This is from Matt Good's latest album. It seems to have a bit of a environmental theme. Makes me think of big cities where you can never see the stars.

8. Break the Night with Colour by Richard Ashcroft - I saw the sun rise as well.

9. I Go Out Walking After Midnight by Patsy Cline - It was after midnight for sure!

10. Letters from the Sky by Civil Twilight - Letter's from the sky telling me I should be in bed still.

Is Being Facebook Official the New Going Steady?

Au Cafe by Jean Beraud

Overtime the whole dating and attracting "game" has had many names and tactics. It's actually quite amusing to hear different generations talk about various types of romantic relationships.

About a month ago I was at the pub (as I often am) with my boyfriend and two of his pub friends. The one guy, who's older than us but tries to act otherwise, asked about another couple who weren't there that night.

K - "So are they an item?"

Me - "What, is this 1993? Is this Saved by the Bell?"

K - "You know, are they still together?..."

Me - "Yeah" while laughing. "They're going steady."

BF - "My grandma asked me the other day if I was courting."

This conversation later made me think about the young girls I work with and how they speak a slightly different language than me. For example:

Me - "So, I'm dating this British guy..."

20-year-old Co-worker: "So are you guys Facebook official?"

Me - "No, I don't have a relationship status on my profile."

20yocw - "WHAT!?"

Apparently if it's not on Facebook, it's not real.

So, now I turn to you fine people who are generally of my own age group. Should I change my status to "In a Relationship"? I currently don't have anything about it on my page. It doesn't say I'm single, just doesn't say anything. Thoughts?

Also, on a more hilarious note - any funny stories about parents or grandparents asking about your relationship status?

Strippers, and Crafts & Running...Oh My!

Since I have a busy weekend ahead I thought I'd give you a quick post of random happenings and thoughts.

1. Strippers

I did some weeknight drinking (as I often do) at my local and I always end up the only girl in a very male dominated conversation. This time the subject of strip clubs came up. The one guy we were talking to is an older guy who likes to act young. At first I thought he was cool and stuff, but now I'm starting to view him as kinda pathetic. He is still super nice, but his outlook on some subjects leave me wondering what he really wants out of life.

He asked my guy friend and I if we'd go to Niagara Falls with him to go to the casinos and strip clubs. I was like, "hells no." Seriously, I love Niagara Falls - but for the silly attractions, not the sleeze. Walking home I asked my friend his thoughts on strip clubs - he said - "Guys always want to see naked girls, but the thing is you kinda feel bad for the girls." He referred to them as a "theatre of sadness."

Then of course the front of one of the Toronto papers today was reporting that apparently Toronto strippers are the most intellectual. What does this say about our economy? Smart girls are wrapping their legs around stripper poles instead of using their brains. 

2. Replacement Phone Chargers are Crazy Expensive

So my cat or my parent's puppy chewed my phone charger cord and today is basically bit the dust. I was able to charge it today, but it had to be positioned carefully and not moved for this to happen. I went to the place I got my phone and bought a new one. Holy mother it was almost half as much as my phone cost! What a rip off. Seriously...they basically come free with phones but are marked up considerably when sold separately. Guess they can charge that much because people have no choice if they want their phones to work. Wow.

3. Homemade Gifts

I made my friend a pair of feather earrings for her birthday and she loved them. I'm all about the homemade gifts now. Do people like homemade gifts? Am I a lame little housewife for doing so?

This reminds me of a quote from Douglas Coupland's Generation X:

"Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time."

4. The Return of the Boyfriend (Hopefully)

My boyfriend has been away for two weeks working and I'm anxiously awaiting his return because I am lame like that.

5. Mother Mother

Saturday night I am going to see the band Mother Mother with my two childhood best friends. One girl I met in kindergarden, but haven't seen in years. The other I see all the time and we've been friends since grade 1. 

Should be an awesome show! But I made the mistake of buying too many tickets and I can't seems to be able to sell the odd one.

6. Terry Fox & Team Foxtrot

I am teaming up for Terry this Sunday with my friend Rob. We are Team Foxtrot! We have $300 raised between the two of us, so that's good, right?

Hurray For Fall! (Poll Results)

Most people are actually excited for fall. What are your favourite things about this time of year? The leaves changing colour? Warm drinks? Sweaters and jackets? Pumpkins and family gatherings?

Yay! 8 (66%) 

Nay! 3 (25%)

I don't care either way 1 (8%)

Does it get cooler where you live? Do you call it Fall or Autumn?

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #114

This week I'm featuring songs about dreams, dreaming and all that stuff.

1. Dreaming my Dreams by The Cranberries - I love the airy sound of Dolores O'Riordan's voice in this song.

2. Distant Dreamer by Duffy - This is a song about thinking about a happy life in the distant future.

3. Dream Brother by Jeff Buckley - Just a really good song :)

4. A Kiss to Build a Dream on by Louis Armstrong - A sorta sappy song I listened to a lot a few months ago...don't judge me!

5. In Dreams by Roy Orbison - Also don't judge my Orbison love.

6. He Dreams He's Awake by Stars - Simple, but haunting lyrics.

7. Only in Dreams by Weezer - An epic way to end the Blue Album. <3 Weezer.

8. Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple - Um, I only sleep to dream Fiona!

9. Dream Again by Franz Ferdinand - I love the lyrics "I keep on dreaming / I live to dream again."

10. Ibi Dreams of Pavement (A Better Day) by Broken Social Scene - Crazy wall of noise song.

10 Things I Will Try to NEVER Do Based on What I've Seen from Lurking Facebook Profiles

1. Marry a guy after less than a year of dating only to end up separated and have him steal all of my money.

2. Get pregnant after dating for two months and declare it an "instant family." Flush my future down the toilet to be a full time mother and housekeeper to my boyfriend and his parents.

3. Get into a relationship. Become single. In a relationship. Single yet again. It's complicated...single again.

4. Have a baby and then miraculously become the baby. All photos and status updates will be of and about the baby. I would cease to exist as an individual.

5. Get engaged, break it off and then sell my engagement ring through the Facebook Marketplace.

6. Write passive-aggressive, back-handed status updates about people and be surprised when they figure out that I'm talking about them.

7. Talk shit about someone in my family knowing that they will probably see it, then tell them "it's a free country, I can write what I want."

8. Use my Facebook wall as just another place for my Twitter feed to go. #Imobnoxious

9. Put in vague status updates about being sad, or depressed or confused, or even happy, but then refuse to reply when people ask why.

10. Write melodramatic updates about how everyone sucks, and I have no friends, and no one wants to do anything with me. I wonder why?

Anyone have any good ones that I missed? Any specific trainwrecks on your Facebook wall?

The Summer of Skunks

Look at him...he's got mischief  in his eyes!

There are many words I could use to describe this summer. Adjectives, nouns, verbs - the whole lot. It was a satisfying summer - and I suppose it's still going, but it doesn't feel like it.

I sat on patios, drank pints and swatted mosquitoes into the wee hours. I played darts, badly (except for that one time I won). I played pool, badly (except for that one time I won). I went to the driving range and did okay enough for my boyfriend to suggest we play golf sometime (we shall see about that). I visited with work friends, past and present. I said goodbye to friends who left to pursue better things. I saw fireworks downtown. I visited my old university to eat at a favourite restaurant. I saw a few movies that I enjoyed. I was hit by an egg and I wrote my local paper about it. I made new things for my Etsy Shop that I'm proud of. And I was almost sprayed by a skunk, many, many times.

That's right, skunked.

There seems to be a bit of an infestation here these past few years - more skunks than ever before. I walk all over town, especially in the summer, and I have been in the line of fire of a striped beast with his tail raised more than I can count.

From dusk till dawn these little creatures are out and about, digging up grubs and such and tearing through garbage. Aside from snakes, I have never been so fearful of an animal in all my life. Not because they look scary - they're just furry little woodland creatures - but what they can do. I've crossed roads randomly, ran, scurried and jumped to avoid being sprayed. So far, knock on wood, I have successfully avoided the foul stench of the skunk - but for how long?

My boyfriend and I were walking home from the pub the other night and it started to spit rain a bit. I whined that it was going to pour on us. He joked that we could potentially be rained on, skunked and egged all in one night. Typical Southern Ontario summer.

Have any of you been sprayed? I've known people who's pets have been.

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #113

I'm so broke this week - not sure what happened...too many things came up and I couldn't say no to any of them and now I'm living off tips until Thursday when I get paid. 

1. Can't Buy Me Love by The Beatles - Pretty much the only thing that doesn't cost money these days.

2. No Money by Kings of Leon - I've got no money till Thursday (payday!)

3. Money City Maniacs by Sloan - Cities are so full of greed.

4. She's in it for the Money by Matthew Good - I'm NOT in it for the money.

5. Money by The Flying Lizards - I love this cover! I heard it in the film Empire Records and love when Gina adds "Joe's money" over the intercom.

6. Money by Pink Floyd - A classic :)

7. Money Money Money by ABBA - A little pop song to brighten this poor girl's day.

8. Material Girl by Madonna - Sometimes I'm way more materialistic than I should be.

9. Mo Money Mo Problems by Notorious BIG - Truer words have not been spoken.

10. If I Had a Million Dollars by The Barenaked Ladies - "We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner..."