Taking a Leap...with Spring Fashions

I feel like I should post something for Leap Day - since it's so rare that I should be blogging on this day - since I haven't had this blog for 4 years yet, and who knows if I'll still have it in another 4. I've been a bit fashion/Polyvore obsessed lately. When I was a kid I loved playing Barbies, and with paper dolls - dressing them up. Polyvore is like the grow-up version of this. I'm loving the bow blouse trend right now. I feel like it's a fun, but mature style. So happy leap day!

Taking a Leap by alliweb featuring a bow blouse


How did you spend your Leap Day? 

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #138

This week my list will consist of 10 songs about growing up, growing pains, and general nostalgia for a simpler time.

1. The Let Down by Emma-Lee - This song was a bonus track on her new album, Backseat Heroine, and I'm glad I got it. This song inspired this whole list. "What did you want to do as a child, and what are you doing now?"

2. When I Grow Up by Garbage - This song is a unique perspective. When we're kids we just want to grow up because we want to be independent and in control of our lives, but then we grow up and miss the simplicity of childhood.

3. Kids by MGMT - A song about childhood, simple.

4. Forever Young by Bob Dylan - Some of us just want to be forever young.

5. When I Was a Young Girl by Feist - I just love Feist.

6. In My Life by The Beatles - This is a song about thinking about the past, but realizing you're happy today. "In my life I love you more."

7. Sixteen by No Doubt - I remember thinking 16 was going to be this awesome age when I was little (Saved by the Bell lied).

8. The Old Apartment by Barenaked Ladies - This is nostalgia, not for childhood, but for late teens/early 20s - the first apartment with someone. It's obvious that the relationship didn't work out and both parties moved on and grew up, but the "narrator" in the song wants it back.

9. I Don't Wanna Grow Up by Tom Waits - An adult take on a children's song I believe.

10. Learn to Fly by Foo Fighters - Spread your wings.

Any suggestions of songs on this subject?

If You Were a Musician...

Every other Thursday night we have open mic night at my work hosted by a musical couple. I've had the pleasure of working two of these nights recently, and it's such a fun night. Old, young, rock, folk...you name it.

This past Thursday we had such a variety of talent come in. A lady had an electric keyboard and she sang while a man played guitar with her. A young girl with an awesome voice played, and so did her much more shy sister. Three young guys played as a trio - and sang one of my favourite new Arkells songs, "Kiss Cam." A lady played the slide guitar - which I love. Something about the sound of the slide guitar really gets me. And this adorable older lady, who once came in with a small small harp, played a strange stringed instrument and sang songs that you'd hear at a Renaissance Fair.

The whole night made me wish I was a musician. I thought about what songs I'd play if I got up there and sang for a group of coffee drinkers and fellow musicians. I've said this before on this blog (I think) that I wish I was Feist.

If I were a cover musician I'd play some Feist (obviously), maybe some Fiona Apple, acoustic versions of Florence + The Machine songs, obviously some Beatles, Martha Wainwright, Kathleen Edwards, Sarah Harmer, Amy Milan...I could go on and on.

But I'm not a musician. I can't play an instrument. I think I can sorta sing, but wouldn't have the guts to sing in front of people...maybe in the shower, or in the house when I'm alone, or in the car when a good song comes on.

So, if you aren't already a musician, who would you want to sing/play like? What songs would you cover?

My hair is kinda like Feist's when it's straight.

Bringing Back Letters

Quick post to show you guys the cute letter and origami crane I got in today's mail from fellow blogger Things to Do.

It was a reply to the letter I sent her as part of my goal to mail more personal letters this month.

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #137

It's always good to have something to look forward to. A vacation, a birthday, a new season...

1. Optimistic by Radiohead - I'm trying to be optimistic.

2. Change of Seasons by Sweet Thing - "Where we goin', I don't know..."

3. Heatseeker by Two Hours Traffic - "Put yourself in a place that you've always known...It could be out in the woods, or over by the ocean, that's my secret sleeping potion."

4. Mountain Man by Crash Kings - I not so secretly want my Mountain Man to come home!

5. Love it When You Call by The Feeling - Silly song that I would never have downloaded except for it came with a Lance Armstrong workout mix for my iRun system for my iPod.

6. Spectrum by Florence + The Machine - "Say my name! And every colour illuminates"

7. Got my Mind Set on You by George Harrison - "It's gonna take time, a whole lot a precious time."

8. Float On by Modest Mouse - Life will float on, good news is on the way, right?

9. Hibernation Song by Whale Tooth - I'm ready to come out of hibernation! Spring like weather is upon us!

10. Making Out by No Doubt - Hahaha, this song came on my iPod yesterday morning when I was walking to work. Always makes me smile.

Can't Wait

Before the boyfriend left for out west we talked about possibly spending a weekend in Niagara Falls when he comes home. Nothing is ever set in stone with us, but I can't help but plan and research...just in case. Things have been rather dull lately and I need some things to look forward too. I cheered myself up (but not my bank account) by getting a few things at the mall over the weekend. One such item I think will look really nice with the mint green dress I showed you guys before.

Yeah, sorry boys, this is a fashion post.

I bought the dress a week or so ago, but this weekend I bought the floral cardigan pictured above. I believe it was Alexandra who suggested a patterned cardigan. Not sure if this is what she had in mind, but it's definitely my style. As for the shoes...I don't own that exact pair, but some similar ones. The sunglasses, however, were one of last year's big purchases.

So, back to my dream Falls trip. I think this would make a cute, yet practical outfit for wandering around, but nice enough for dinner and the casino later. Like I said, nothing's actually been booked or confirmed. If that doesn't happen, my birthday is in a month and a half - and a girl can never have too many party dresses, right?

Oh, my other purchase this weekend was a grey blazer. I wore it to my friend's birthday Saturday night with a darker grey t-shirt underneath.

Sorry it's blurry. It might be hard to see, but the jacket is light grey with a blue liner (you can see that with the sleeves rolled). I'm not sure I'm in love with it, since it makes me look wider than I am.

Hope you all had lovely weekends! Cheers!

Another Post about Long Distance Relationships...a Theory of Mine

Here I go again, talking about this - but I won't apologize, because this is my life right now, so unless you want to hear about how I slept for 12 hours today, woke up and watched House on my laptop (still in bed) and basically lounged around all day, this is what you're stuck with.

So, there are many types of LDRs. There's the kind where you meet under specific circumstances (while travelling, or online for example) and each live in different places but agree to stay together and make it work in spite of this. Then there is the type where you meet and begin your relationship close to one another, then one person moves away and you agree to stay together and make it work. And then there is what I am dealing with, which is similar to the second type but not as permanent, where one person travels a lot for work, which takes them away for weeks and months at a time.

So this post will apply to the last two types I mentioned.

My theory is that there are two "roles" when a relationship becomes long distance: The Home and The Away person. And based on my own life, and talking to others in similar situations, I've concluded that The Home person will always take it the hardest.

It's so obvious if you think about it. The Away person is changing everything about their life. The only thing that stays the same is them. They have new surroundings, maybe a new job, new friends, new things to experience. The Home person's life stays the same except for there is a void where they once fit in time with their partner. The Home person goes to work just the same, has the same friends, same house or apartment - but they know that something is missing. The Away person is so busy experiencing new things that, at least for a lot of the time, they don't have much free time to miss stuff from back home.

I'm not suggesting that The Away person doesn't care, or just forgets about everything - they just have less time to wallow in it.

So if The Home person were to get frustrated and tell The Away person "I feel like you don't care about me anymore," they'll be all, "duh, of course I miss you - don't be silly."

My theory is basically that each person has a different world view on the situation. The one person left because they felt they had to (for whatever reason) and the other stayed because they felt they had to. There's no right or wrong way to take things in these situations, but I think it's easy for forget that the other person is experiencing things way differently than the other. The Home person feels more neglected because The Away person is caught up in their new life.

This is what I remind myself of when my boyfriend is less than communicative with me. He's out there working, there's a time difference, and that yes, he needs to have some social interactions out there for his own sanity.

I recently overreacted (like I so often do) over a photo of him posted on Facebook. I was a bit snarky and texted him that I'm glad he's having so much fun out there, but that it wouldn't kill him to text me. Turns out the photo was two years old and that I'd once again put my foot in my mouth. But it made me think - yeah, he should be allowed to have fun out there. My only wish is that he'd think about messaging me a bit more.

Well, I'm surviving it. We made it through Valentine's Day, even though I wanted to give the finger to everyone who posted pictures of their lovely bunches of flowers on Facebook (Liz and I agreed that this was irrationally annoying us). He called me, we had a decent chat and caught up (which sadly consisted of us each talking about our jobs because that's all we have right now!).

Now I just need to make it through another month and a half and hope that everything works out.

Flowers to My Man (February Poll Results)

Last month I asked if you thought it would be weird to send a guy flowers on Valentine's Day, here are the results:

Yes, he'll feel emasculated 0 (0%)

No, he'll be flattered 6 (46%)

Depends on the situation 5 (38%)

His friends will make fun of him. 1 (7%)

It's weird, but unique 6 (46%)

I will say this, I made this poll cause I thought about sending my boyfriend flowers - but I never did it. Not because I was worried he'd be embarrassed (he might have been though), but I didn't know the address of the place he's staying and felt like I'd blow the element of surprise if I asked.

We ended up just talking on the phone, which was nice.

What did you get your Valentine this year?

Two Reasons Why I Sorta Miss High School

So as a 27, almost 28 year old young woman - high school was a long time ago. I've hit the point where I now look back at my yearbooks and think "wow, people dressed like that?" Yeah, I'm old.

Anyways, so I was doing some de-hoarding a few week's ago and I was cleaning out bins filled with old school stuff...some from high school, most of it from university. I found some old drawings from art class, as well as some awards and stuff.

I was not popular - let that be clear. I wasn't, however, at the very bottom of the social totem pole either. But, I don't want you to get the wrong idea that I miss high school for social reasons. I don't miss dances and football games and shit like that, I really miss two of my classes: Art and gym.

I don't miss these classes because I was good at them (well, I was...but that's not the point). I miss these classes because they forced me to practice.

1. Art

I used to be able to draw and paint and all that stuff. I still can, but I really suck at it now. I think the reason I got so "good" back in high school was the fact that I was doing it everyday for half a year for five years. That doesn't even count elementary school art! So of course I improved - I was practicing a lot by sketching and drawing and learning techniques. I don't have the time or the discipline to sit and sketch everyday anymore - but I wish I did.

Found two printed scans of sketches I did in High School.

2. Gym

I know a lot of kids hated gym - I didn't. I wasn't ever on any teams or anything (one year I did track), but I was decent at sports and physical activity. I was in decent shape back then because I took gym almost every year in high school and that was a guaranteed workout everyday (at least for that semester). I had gym first period one year, and it was an awesome start to my day because we always did a warm up and stretched, then we'd play whatever sport was on our curriculum for the remainder of the period. Again, I wish I had the self-discipline to force myself to start each day like this still!

Because I have anxiety it's important for me to do high impact exercise to help clear my head...and I'm totally sucking at this right now!

As for the art, as much fun as crafting is, I do miss fine art. Plus it's kind of relaxing to sit and paint and feel in control of the brush. If I tried painting now I'd just get frustrated because I wouldn't know what to do anymore.

So I don't really miss my messy locker, or the hierarchy of the cafeteria, but I do miss practicing my hobbies and interests everyday for free.

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #136

Welcome to the "My Funny (& Cute) Valentine" edition of iTunes Playlist Tuesday! Thanks to a few readers, and my own iTunes library I have come up with 10 love songs that will make you smile.

1. You Really Got a Hold on Me by She & Him - Thanks for the suggestion Dianne R!

2. Love You Madly by Cake - Thanks Martina for the suggestion! Love Cake!

3. The One I Love by Heywood Banks - The One Eye Love...lol...Liddy I love your sense of humour!

4. Most Beautiful Girl in the Room by Flight of the Conchords - This one is all me...'cause we all want to be the most beautiful girl in the whole wide room!

5. I Love You Cause I Have to by Dogs Die in Hot Cars - You have to because I tell you to!

6. Love Interruption by Jack White - I love this new song by Jack White...not so much funny as quirky.

7. Where Do You Go to My Lovely by Peter Sarstedt - Indian musician Peter Sarstedt came up with the most random lyrics to describe a woman.

8. Fuck You by Garfunkle and Oates - 'Cause I like you...

9. I'm' a Love You Anyways by Danny Michel - Fun, dance song about love.

10. My Funny Valentine by Frank Sinatra - This song isn't that funny, but seems appropriate.

Happy VDay Everyone!

Make Me an Outfit Again!

Since my blog has been a bit "heavy" lately, I thought I'd make things a bit fun again by asking for style suggestions for a dress like this. Yeah, once again it's a plain Old Navy dress - but it's not like I blog for a living people - Old Navy is my price range! I'm loving mint green right now and am looking forward to Spring! I'm looking for ways to take this type of dress from day to night.

 Cheers!

Make me an Outfit! by alliweb featuring a jersey dress

Old Navy jersey dress
$30 - oldnavy.gap.com

Let's Talk...Again

You're not alone little bean!

Last year, on this day, I posted about my struggle with anxiety, which I was diagnosed with just over a year ago. Guess what? The conversation's not over. It doesn't end just because you feel a bit better. I think of my mental illness as an addiction - and addiction to feeling sad and sorry for yourself. So, yeah, I'm doing much better and I haven't had a panic attack in a really long time, but that doesn't mean I'm better - it just means I'm recovering.

Today is Let's Talk Day - where all my texts and long-distant calls = money towards mental health programs here in Canada. Learn more from my post from last year: Let's Talk

Since last year I took this opportunity to talk honestly about my issues, I'll do the same this year and tell you how I'm doing and how talking about it has helped me.

A year ago I was not good - I wasn't happy, I wasn't moving forward in my life and I was blaming others for my problems. You know that scene in Bridesmaids where Megan starts beating up Annie and telling her to fight for her shitty life? Well, a year ago I was not fighting for my shitty life, I was reveling in my unhappiness.

Now that I've been given the proper medication and coping skills I feel I am better equipped to deal with life. I haven't been a perfect patient - I don't DO everything my doctor wants me to. I don't work out as much as I should, especially in the winter. I don't always relax the way I should - but I am trying. It's an on-going process.

But I do think that several things have happened during the past year that can attest to the fact that I am improving. For one, I was able to get into a relationship with a guy who loves me. While romantic relationships come with their own brand of anxiety, I have been able to, for the most part, keep it together. I don't think I'd have been able to do that a year ago.

I also get along better with my family and friends - I am more open to things, less scared. I'm not perfect - I still struggle in some social situations. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up even though I am grown up. But I know that I will be okay.

So here I am, talking to you guys, fighting for my shitty life by telling you that it's not so bad to admit you have a problem. I have found that as soon as you tell someone they usually respond with, "oh, me too!"

Six Word Short (Love) Stories

I entered a contest today held by a national radio show here where they asked participants to write a six word short story (like Hemingway) on the topic of modern love.

This is what I came up with and submitted:

Emoticon kisses get me through it.

I think it captures modern love quite well - at least from my experience.

Any of you care to take a stab at a six word short story? I'd love for you guys to share what you come up with as comments here...just for fun.

Remember to choose your words wisely, you only get six. It's a pretty good writing experiment - to get so many feelings and ideas into six words.

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #135

This playlist was inspired by my post from Sunday about letter writing and the impermanence of so many things we have and use today. The songs I've chosen are either about obsolete or dying technology, or have some nostalgia about "simpler" times in the lyrics.

1. Two Hearts by Danny Michel - Danny is a fan of old studio equipment, old guitars and amps and simple things in life. This song mentions 8-Tracks, curly headphone cords, and things like that. It's a great song.

2. Mixed Tape by Brand New - I recall liking this song when I was in university, though it's not really my style anymore. The lyrics themselves are more angry than I want to convey in this playlist, but the title fits. Do people even have cassette players anymore?

3. Pen to the Paper by Parlovr - This song came with a free Dine Alone Records sampler I got years ago. It fits with my post from the other day about writing.

4. Letters from the Sky by Civil Twilight - More about letters...

5. We Used to Wait by Arcade Fire - This song evokes memories of the suburbs of the past. "We used to wait for letters to arrive."

6. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive - Like a record baby!

7. Videotape by Radiohead - I found my Blockbuster membership card in my wallet the other day and it reminded me of many a Friday night...renting movies and making popcorn. Make sure to rewind! I'm keeping the card because I can tell future generations about how I had to walk all the way downtown to the video store to rent a movie and had to walk all the way back to return it!

8. 19 Somethin' by Mark Wills - Okay, so I don't actually have this song on my iTunes, but I remember hearing it in my aunt's car while we were driving to pick up my cousin from university. I especially related to the parts about 1990-something. It's a very country though...

9. Throw Away Your Television by Red Hot Chili Peppers - And replace it with a computer...

10. Radio Song by R.E.M. - Do you still listen to the radio?

Communication Breakdown

I've written a lot recently about the trials of long-distance relationships, mostly because it's such a huge part of my life right now. Some may argue that technology makes this easier and I do agree in many ways, but I think it's also responsible for taking the thoughtfulness out of communicating.

No one writes letters anymore. A text is not a letter, it's a quick thought that exits the universe almost as quickly as it enters. It's so ephemeral.

ephemeral |əˈfem(ə)rəl|adjectivelasting for a very short time : fashions are ephemeral. See note attemporary .• (chiefly of plants) having a very short life cycle.

Ephemeral is a word I learned in university when learning about research in the area of archival study. At one point in my life I wanted to get into archival work - part of me still does, so this particular lecture sticks out.

We discussed the ephemeral nature of things today: MP3s, digital photos, online news, stuff like that. Things that can easily disappear. While cleaning out my closet recently I discovered so many things I'd saved - some I'd been holding onto for no reason, while other things were cherished memories. Letters, photographs, journals - things I can't let go of. I have archived the physical possessions of my life, but will I always be able to do that?

With Valentine's Day just around the corner I can't help but think of the old fashioned methods of courtship. There was no sexting - but there were love letters.

Do I ever expect my boyfriend to mail me a letter, let alone a love letter? No, I do not. I can't really blame him though, it's just not part of our culture anymore. But I will tell you that texting is actually starting to really piss me off.

I feel like the texts we send and receive say very little about what we're actually going through. There's no emoticon that can ever truly convey feelings of loneliness and exasperation. There's no way to show voice inflection, sarcasm, or even honest declarations of love.

While a phone call tends to be the next best thing to actually being together in conversation, I'd argue that a letter still shows more care and consideration. One must choose his words wisely and write things out clearly in a letter. You cannot mumble and put someone on hold in a letter.

While I like the urgency and the instant gratification of a text message, I wish more thought was put into the way we communicate these days. I want something I can save and read over and over till the pages get worn. Not always, but sometimes would be nice.

So, I'm going to try to write to all my friends and loved ones (blog friends too) who are far away from me this month. I was going to write a letter everyday in February, but decided that was too ambitious. I encourage others to do the same, put the pen to paper and see what happens!

February 14...Just a Day

In 14 days (or less) it will be February 14th...which in many parts of the world is St. Valentine's Day - a day where for years I only got candy from my own mom. This year will be no exception - because even though I'm in a relationship I:

A) Don't feel any particular warmth towards the holiday...I just like chocolate and cinnamon hearts.

B) My boyfriend is on the other side of the country right now for a few months.

I'm sure we'll call each other and text, but it's not like it will make me love him more or less depending on what happens on that particular Tuesday.

But since I'll be here...in the blogosphere...on VDay, I think a playlist with a theme along those lines will be in order. But I want your help. In the past I've done an anti-VDay playlist and one about chocolate and candy, but maybe I should be a little less cynical this year and actually care about the yucky love stuff :P

So, I want cute, sweet, semi-romantic songs for this list, but I'm not looking for standards or songs that are ridiculously cheesy. I'm looking for quirky, indie, off-beat, funny, weird and silly love songs. I'll be looking up some of my own, but I'm always open to suggestions.

If you have any ideas email me before Feb 13 HERE.

How do you feel about the holiday? I'm not really sure what the boy and I would even do if he were here for it. Probably just go to the movies or something. I already gave him a card that says "Since neither of us care about all this Valentine's Day stuff, here's some bacon." And has a picture of strips of bacon on it. Honestly, I'm more sad that he'll be away for St. Patrick's Day because that holiday actually plays a big role in why we're together today. [See St.Paddy's Blog from 2010]

So help me find non-cheesy love songs!