Pray For Summer's End

I've never been so happy to see the back end of the summer season.

So tonight I deleted my ex off of Facebook. I know I should have deleted him after I broke up with him, but I was holding on. Now, I still haven't deleted him from my phone...but I changed his name to "Asshole" - does that count?

The next step is the necklace.

After we broke up I put all the framed photos and the diamond and white gold heart necklace he gave me at Christmas in a bag and hid it in the back on my closet. I don't want to part with it because no one has ever given me real jewellery before and it was significant. But in reality he doesn't love me anymore and he isn't the same guy who gave it to me - he's a stranger now. I could use the money, but my stomach hurts thinking about selling it. I need someone to hold my hand and let me cry while I hand it over to some jewellery store, who will give me less than it's worth for it. Ahh, I can't do it. I'm not ready. It's staying in my closet.

Baby steps.

So I capped off my summer fun on Tuesday night by crying in two bathrooms at bars. Girl's Night turned into "This is my loser roommate who likes to dominate conversations, one-up everyone, and name drop, I hope you don't mind that he's tagging along."

Yeah, so my friend - who's only in town for a few weeks - brought this obnoxious, ridiculous guy with her and he basically ruined the entire night. Oh, and I had a full pint dumped on my lap. That caused the first breakdown in the loo. It was another case of me having unrealistic expectations of how my night would go, and having the reality be a huge letdown. I just lost it. But all my friends rushed down with paper-towel in hand to help me.

I won't go into further detail about the night, but it was bad. The only upside was my sober friend taking us to a drive-thru, after we ditched the loser guy, so we could get poutine with bacon (that's Canadian for amazing food to eat while intoxicated, Eh?) We sat around her pool with our feet dangling in the water eating our heavenly grease trying to make sense of our farce of a "Girl's Night."

I've let my ex haunt me all summer. I've let him break me. I've let him into my head too much and it ruined my summer. I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to talk to my friends. I just wanted to work, eat, run, sleep, and watch Netflix on my laptop in bed. I need out of this funk. I need a new scene. I need to stop crying over everything. I'm so frustrated with life. Anyone who thinks your 20s are your best years are crazy, they are probably worse than your teens. At least when you're 16 you can use the fact that you're "just 16" as an excuse for stuff. When you're 28 people think you should have your shit together by now. Not true.

So I say BRING ON FALL!

Bring on 10 and 5k races, and Jack White concerts, and fall colours, and sweaters and pumpkin pie! I'm sick of the heat, the tears, the sunburns, and the heartache.

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #164

New Music this fall...here are a few I'm looking forward to!

1. Let's Fall in Love by Mother Mother - There new album, The Sticks, will be out in mid/late September. I am already in love with the few songs I've heard.

2. I Will Wait by Mumford and Sons - Babel is out at the end of September. It's nice to finally hear some new music by them.

3. Hold on When You Get Love and Let Go When You Give it by Stars - The North will be out next Tuesday! Woo.

4. Wish Willy by Danny Michel - There isn't a single or anything out, at least to my knowledge, so I picked a song I like from the last album.

5. The Way it is by The Sheepdogs - Sounds so Black Keys...in a good way. I heard the funniest thing about them on the radio the other day. The station was giving away tickets for an in studio performance and said, "you can be so close you can see the sweat dripping off their beards." So true. They've dethroned Sam Roberts Band as the hairiest band in Canada.

6. Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan - I know I picked a classic Bob song, but I haven't heard anything from from Tempest yet. He's on my MUST SEE list. Maybe soon?

7. Runaways by The Killers - After his solo work and some time off, they've come back. The Killers are pretty consistent, hope this one is as good as I know they can be.

8. Madness by Muse - I've actually never been a huge fan of Muse, I mean I enjoy the singles on the radio, but they've never been one of my favourites. But I'm always interested in what they come up with. Madness is more low-key than I'm used to from them. Maybe a more dedicated fan would disagree.

9. At Transformation by The Tragically Hip - I first heard this song during the NHL Playoffs - CBC played it during a montage. I like it.

10. Settle Down by No Doubt - Okay, this one is kind of a lie. I'm not super psyched for this one. Why? I actually don't like this song. I am a minority, I know, but I was really underwhelmed by this single. Maybe the rest of the album is better?

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #163

A couple year's ago I posted a playlist of 10 bands I hoped to someday see live, so I've decided to revisit that list and update it.

My original playlist can be found HERE.

Before I post my new list, here are the bands I crossed off from that list and why:

• Broken Social Scene - When I posted this list I was in possession of tickets to see this band, but had not yet seen them. I saw them and loved them. They're off this list, but I'd see them again for sure.

• R.E.M. - They didn't turn their final album, then they broke up. I had already seen them live, but had always said I'd see them again and kept making excuses. Oh well, I'll always have that one concert.

• The White Stripes - This band broke up, and unless they do a reunion tour in 10 years, this isn't going to happen. BUT, I just bought tickets to see Jack White in concert in October. I think that should totally count!

My new list will have a couple of the same, but a few new faces because my musical tastes have changed and expanded since 2010, so my MUST SEE LIVE TOP 10 has been altered.

1. Pine Moon by Feist - I was close to almost crossing this off in two weeks, but due to my hectic schedule I won't be able to.

2. What the Water Gave Me by Florence + The Machine - She was just in Toronto at the beginning of August, but I was trying not to spend money, plus I didn't have anyone to go with.

3. Ohio by The Black Keys - Someday, hopefully. They were also in my area recently, but you can't see them all, right?

4. Daredevil by Fiona Apple - This would be amazing.

5. Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel - Don't pretend like this wouldn't be incredible.

6. Love Sick by Bob Dylan - This would be one of those moments I'd never forget. A true legend on stage.

7. Rococo by Arcade Fire - Hopefully they put out some new music soon so they can tour again.

8. Walk by Foo Fighters - Would be awesome!

9. Jimi by Martha Wainwright - I love her voice and I think it would be a real experience to see her live.

10. Roll Away Your Stone by Mumford and Sons - They have new music coming, so hopefully they will tour!

Who's on your list? Who have you crossed off recently?

Thinking Late Thoughts

I woke up and wrote this stuff late last night...just stuff that was on my mind while I was tossing and turning.

Maybe you already met the perfect guy, only you were too young and inexperienced for him at the time, so you just let him become a fantasy.

Then when you become old enough and wise enough he's with someone else, forging a life of his own.

Maybe there isn't a "one" - maybe it's just about a series of mistakes.

Maybe there's nothing wrong with just being alone and having a cat.

I had a dream that I bought Bronze medalist Mark Oldershaw flowers and he rejected me - even in my dreams guys are jerks.

I watch my co-workers fall apart over a guy and wonder if it's worth the heartbreak.

White After Labour Day? Fashion Faux Pas or Bold Statement? (Aug Poll Results)

Yes - you can wear white whenever you want! 3 (60%) 

No - Too summery 2 (40%) 

What? That's a "rule"? 0 (0%)

I'm not sure where this "rule" comes from. I mean, they make white winter coats and stuff. I'm thinking white summer dresses, pants and skirts might be a bit too summery, but I mean some things are fine for all seasons.

What do you think? Will you be arrested by the fashion police if you do?

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #162

I can't believe I never thought to do this before! Classic Rock! This was inspired partially by Sunday's Olympic Closing Ceremonies.

1. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

2. My Generation by The Who

3. (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones

4. Break on Through (To the Other Side) by The Doors

5. Dream on by Aerosmith

6. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

7. Come Together by The Beatles

8. Paradise City by Guns N Roses

9. American Woman by The Guess Who

10. Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

What would you have on your classic rock list? What's the current cut-off for what's considered "classic" rock?

Nailed It!

Due to the fact that most of my posts as of late have been depressing as fuck, I'm going to interrupt my breakdown with a cutesy, girly post about nail polish.

My friend, who was my personal esthetician for a while, has another job and doesn't have time to do stuff on the side for me anymore. While I miss her pedicures and eyebrow waxes, I'm okay with doing my own manicures. I wanted to branch out my skills a bit, so I bought a set of nail art brushes and dotting tools off of eBay. I'm pretty pleased with the results.

This one, believe it or not, I got from a tutorial I saw on Instagram. It's a vintage rose accent nail. I'm loving the vintage inspired florals this year - with soft pinks and mint greens. It took a few practice runs, but I feel like I finally got it. I took these photos before I cleaned the skin around the nails.

This one was all me. No tutorial. I painted all my nails but the ring finger a deep, coral orange (Call Me Gwenever by O.P.I.), painted the ring finger with a brighter orange (In My Back Pocket by O.P.I.) then using different dotting tools I made the turquoise polka dots (Custom Kicks by China Glaze). I think it's a cute, summer look.

Well, I couldn't do my hands without doing my toes as well. I just bought a new purple by Revlon on impulse (he he he the colour is called "Impulsive"). Painted all my toes with that colour, but thought I needed a little extra. I just layered dots of different colours and sizes to make this. I really had no plan for my design, I just sort of went for it. I'm happy with how it turned out.

Lastly, this is obviously not a photo of nails - but I just added this piece to my Etsy shop. It's a minty lace bangle and I'm pretty much in love with it.

Quarter-Life Crafts

P.S. A guy who went to my high school, and is a year older than me, won a Bronze Medal yesterday at the London 2012 Olympics in the C-1000 Canoe event. Everyone in town is so proud of him. Congratulations Mark! Kinda makes me wonder what's keeping me from achieving my dreams.

iTunes Playlist Tuesday #161

I've been feeling sort of haunted lately - like I can't escape, I can't move on. Here's a playlist about ghosts.

1. Ghost of a Good Thing by Dashboard Confessional

2. Dead Hearts by Stars

3. Ghosting by Mother Mother

4. Shadow of a Ghost by Emma-Lee

5. Invisible Man by Danny Michel

6. Weighty Ghost by Wintersleep

7. Not a Robot, But a Ghost by Andrew Bird

8. My Body's a Zombie for You by Dead Man's Bones

9. Left Alone by Fiona Apple

10. Strange Currencies by R.E.M.

How a Rewards Program Made Me Feel Even More Lonely

The other day I got an email from SCENE, a movie rewards program I belong to. You get points for seeing movies and then earn a free film eventually.

Anyways, the email basically said, "Go see a movie!"

So SCENE has come to realize that my card hasn't been used in probably 6 months or longer. The email also explained that I can print out a temporary card if mine has been lost or stolen. How kind, right? Well it made me feel like shit.

No, sadly, my card has not been lost or stolen.

There's a reason I haven't been to the movies in a while. It's the same reason why I haven't done a lot of things in the last little while. I had a bad breakup. You see, I mainly went to the movies with my boyfriend. Our first real date was to a movie. So I'm sorry SCENE that you're concerned that I haven't been using my card, but I haven't felt like going and I don't have many people I can see movies with anymore.

So while this form email, that I'm sure was sent to a lot of people, was meant to just be a friendly reminder, it really made me feel more lonely. I feel like I'd have to beg any of my friends to go see a movie with me. They'd say it was too expensive, or they promised to see it with someone else, or they'd already seen it, or they'll wait until they can steal it off the internet. Nobody wants to actually DO anything anymore. Or they're just not including me because I'm depressing to be around.

Hipstercrite just wrote a post about how it's hard to make new friends at 30, and at 28 I'm basically there. While I don't miss how my ex ended things and how he treated me near the end, I do miss having someone to see a movie with occasionally.

Thanks SCENE, for making me feel more depressed about my sad, sad summer. It's not your fault - just bad timing. Hopefully things will turn around, and I can guilt someone into a matinee.